Kouki Hamada
浜田 光希
𓆩♡𓆪
*yes yes yes I do like you. *
I will love you all over again.
==╰ > ==fullname Kouki 光希Hamada 浜田
==╰ > ==alias Mitsu 光
==╰ > == ethnicity asian-japanese
==╰ > ==birthday july 7, 200X. 20 years old
==╰ > ==blood type A-
==╰ > ==occupation student, cam worker influencer.
==╰ > ==gender+pronouns transmasc, he/him
==╰ > ==sexuality asexual, achillean
==╰ > ==height+weight 169cm 58kg | 5'6" 127lbs
His appearance is something quite important for Kouki— that might be surprising if you happen to meet him during a long shift at the library or during exam season, but really, it's the truth. He wouldn't be able to maintain his overly complicated dye job if he didn't care.
He takes great care to match his clothes to his hair, his makeup, his nails. It's always good to look good, you never know who you'll meet on your way.
And so, most of his wardrobe consists of streetwear-style, baggy clothes that are as stylish as they are comfortable. Of course, he sticks to purple, cyan and pink hues, matching the iridescent look of his hair.
Likewise, he opts to wear purple colored lenses instead of glasses— not only does it help avoid obnoxious people asking if they can try them on, it helps tie his look together.
...Though, all this gets kind of forgotten on days when he's particularly tired. We all have our days, and for Kouki, those mean lazy, all black outfits and a cap over his head. Anything that won't attract attention to him will do.
As for body mods, he's quite the fan. Both of his ears are pierced, as well as his tongue. He has a large piece tattooed under his chest, covering surgery scars, roses tangled in vines going down to his v-line. He has a few smaller flower designs on his left arm, as well as a snake on his right thigh.
*faceclaim- Kanata Yatonokami *
from Paradox Live.
art belongs to @ug0nba on twitter
cancer ☼ gemini ☾ libra ✧
infp • 6w5 • melancholic • lawful good
I know what it seems like. These natal charts and personality tests all point in a clear direction. An anxious, quiet man who feels too much and craves a place to fit in.
And that's not so far from reality. Kouki is an introvert through and through, and no amount of coaxing could get him to leave his apartment if he didn't have a previous appointment. He spends his days in libraries and beneath his bedsheets, and you can't convince him of there being something better than that out there.
He is a little anxious. His medical treatment helps, though, and he's a lot better than he used to be. But he does still hate taking phone calls and being in loud groups. That's just his nature, he thinks.
Feelings are not something he talks about, though. He thinks of them, a lot. He writes about them, too. But speaking them out loud? Never. Therapy is an exception, but no one will ever get on the level of his therapist. Even if he daydreams of finding a person who will make him feel understood and who he will feel safe and comfortable sharing all his deepest secrets with... yeah, no. That's probably ages away.
Kouki lives inside his mind, and he's made it into such a lovely place that he doesn't want to get out. No one could be a better listener than himself. In his mind, he's creative, funny, pretty, smart, interesting. Outside, he's awkward, soft-spoken, insecure, a people pleaser.
Nothing wrong with any of these, of course. He doesn't really want to change himself. People don't dislike him, and he doesn't dislike himself. He just doesn't love it.
That's as far as his perception of things goes. He tends to be oblivious about how others think of him— he pays great attention to how they react to his actions, but he never thinks about the great picture. He's probably not someone who would make an impression, anyway.
you will never be lovelier
than you are now.
୨likes୧
⋆ romance novels
⋆ cheesy tropes
⋆ warm, sweet drinks (caramel macchiato is his go-to.)
⋆ pop music
⋆ old recorders
⋆ candles
⋆ chunky jewelry
⋆ morphology
⋆ collector's editions of books
୨dislikes୧
⋆ disruptive people
⋆ sour foods
⋆ squeaky sneakers
⋆ exercising
⋆ alcohol
⋆ doing his own nails
⋆ nosy people
⋆ summer
⋆ taxidermy
⋆ the sound of printers
⋆ debates
I show you my favorite books
because I like you.
Kouki had a pretty normal life, as far as he's concerned. Ignore the whole 'move over to the other side of the Pacific Ocean away from your father' thing and yeah, he had a normal childhood. Maybe he doesn't remember it particularly fondly, but isn't it like that for most people?Born in Japan 20 years ago, Kouki and his twin were a healthy set of babies. Their parents were alright, an average middle-class couple who had their struggles, but overall led a good life. His father was an accountant, his mother a teacher. They loved each other. Or so he thought, until it came out that his mother was cheating on his father and they got a divorce.Being a child, he didn't really have a choice in the matter. No one listens to a 7 year old's opinion. And so, each parent got custody of one of the kids, and his mother took him with her over to the beautifully prosperous and awfully busy land of the United States of America.Apparently, her lover had connections in some company in the south, so she was able to get a pretty good job in a private school and a good reference for private tutoring. Their life now wasn't by any means better than back in Japan, but it wasn't worse. If you ignored half of the family missing, it wasn't worse, not really.He did his part to make sure things weren't hard on his mom, too. He got good grades, never got in trouble, helped around the house. His classmates' parents would look at him in awe, saying how jealous they were of his mother for having such a good kid. He liked the praise, even if it felt a bit empty at times.His mom didn't have much time for him, and the kids in his class weren't really fans of the good-kid act. Their loss. So Kouki spent most of his days inside, reading, learning, singing along to old vinyls his mother had laying around. They never bothered buying a CD player, 'it will be outdated in a week', his mom said.When he got his first computer, he was fascinated. So much to do, and it took so little effort! The world was in his hands. His little, grubby, 10 year old hands. He would get home from school and immediately jump online, playing flash games and joining random chatrooms to share a stupid joke and leave. He could do anything he wanted. He could even listen to music without needing the turntable.He quickly figured out he could share his writing online. You see, any kid who has so much free time and has read so many books naturally ends up writing. No story will ever be as perfect for a person as the one they write themselves. From little paragraphs hinting to something larger to notebooks filled with notes and scribbles, Kouki loved everything and anything that lived in his mind. He put it down on paper, and then on a Microsoft Document, and then he pasted it to his admittedly basic-looking blog.Of course, fame doesn't come easily. It's not enough to simply want it, one must work for it. He uploaded countless posts before he even got his first comment. 'Good stuff!'. So simple, and yet so important to him. Reading it was an adrenaline rush, the two words repeating over and over in his mind. His writing was good stuff. His stuff was good. It was good enough for this stranger to take the time to not only read it, but even comment on it. On his next post, he left a short dedication to the kind stranger at the very top.Well, the stranger didn't really come around again, or at least didn't make him aware of it. Others did, though. He was advised to join a writing forum, a place where people would share their work and help each other become better at their craft.All he knew about online interaction was chatrooms and his blog's comment section, so this was new to him. Conversations were archived, people had whole personas, you could even make custom signatures with code. He didn't know code, but it was fun to think about.He met a lot of people there. Some he would eventually wish he hadn't.His writing did get better, though. He learnt of authors who weren't taught in his classes, of books that weren't classics but should've been. He read and he wrote as if his life depended on it. It was the only thing he could do to pass the time.Perhaps it was a good thing, because it earned him a scholarship for a good college back in his home country. He was of age now, which meant he could choose to go live with his father and brother, even if his mother didn't approve of it.The city didn't have a particularly good reputation— then again, he didn't quite have the luxury to care about that. Even if he had, perhaps he wouldn't care anyway. It was a chance to start anew. He would focus on graduating as soon as he could, because as nice as the college's library was, he really just wanted to stop having morning classes; he would save up for a nicer apartment, one that didn't have his father's name on the lease; and he would forget the painful things from youth and find his soulmate in a hopeless city. He would get his happy ending, and that's all that really mattered.
my hands have made some good mistakes.
* they can always make better ones.*
━☆ uses 'boku' 僕 self pronoun.
━☆ 2nd year literature student.
━☆ he's a library assistant at his college. No, he doesn't get paid enough to deal with most of the students there.
━☆ his (side? main?) job compensates for it, though. He lives comfortably without help from his family.
━☆ very active on social media.
━☆ he learnt how to play guitar when he was 14, his repertoire was 90% Taylor Swift. This hasn't really changed since then.
━☆ has very good memory.
━☆ can guess a book by its lines (if he's read it, obviously)
━☆ most of the time he wears pop-on nails, but ocassionally splurges on acrylics. He prefers neutral, discrete designs.
━☆ other than at campus, you can usually find him procrastinating in cafés or at malls. Shopping is great for stress relief.
━☆ likes collecting keychains. His keys are a loud mess, but at least they're impossible to lose.
━☆ he kept in touch with his brother through letters, mostly, even after they both had e-mails..voiceclaim, playlist, pinterest board, nsfw